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By Susie and Otto Collins, Relationship Coaches
After a breakup, it's important to take some time to figure out what you
learned by being in that relationship, what you would have liked to have done
differently, and what you want from a new relationship. While it's
important to take some time to heal, it's also important not to take too much
time focusing on the past.
Starting the "dating game" can be a daunting prospect after a relationship
breakup. The question we usually get from people in this situation is "When is
it the right time to start dating again?"
In other words, there are no hard and fast rules about when to start
dating again.
With that being said, here are five guidelines for knowing when or if it's time
to start getting out in circulation again...
1. If you had jealousy issues in
your previous relationship, you need to learn how to
overcome jealousy before you
begin dating. Many people believe that the problem will fix itself if you
are in a new relationship. Wrong! Jealousy will just keeping showing
up in new relationships over and over again until it has been dealt with.
2. If you have relationship
trust issues (most people do after a breakup), begin learning how to build
trust in new relationships. Make a list of how you and your ex destroyed trust
and then make another list of how you can build trust with a new partner.
If you get stumped, start thinking about how you like to be treated in
relationships and make your list
from those thoughts.
3. Make sure that you have made completions around old relationships.
If you need to do some work around forgiving your ex, do it. If you need
to stop thinking about how things used to be with an ex before your
breakup, do it.
You are not ready to begin dating and attract anyone who you will truly want to be with if you are
still emotionally tied to someone else. Don't begin dating to blot out the
memory of an old relationship. Do your healing first!
4. Be open to meeting new people--not with the idea of finding your perfect
romantic partner
but rather to learn how to open your heart once again to others. So often
a new partner will show up quite unexpectantly if you're not looking. So open to
being who you really are, with no false masks, and begin to live your new
future.
5. Be clear about what you expect in the relationship. In dating situations, there are often
unclear expectations around
infidelity
and what that means. Your last breakup might have been caused largely because of
infidelity so it's even more important to start a new
relationship with clear agreements and to absolutely know what you want.
If you keep these dating tips in mind, you will have a better dating experience when you decide it's
time to do so. We are giving
you this free relationship advice in the
hopes that you will take courage and have more successful, satisfying dates and
relationships in the future.
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